Field Report: Special Agent Andrei

Andrei was taken into custody at the Karaganda orphanage in July 2007, when he was about seventeen months old. Becky and I don’t know the details of his past except that his parent’s legal custody rights were relinquished to the state of Kazakhstan when he entered the orphanage. Six months later, Andrei made his first appearance to a group of adoptive parents that had traveled halfway around the world from America. Becky and I were among these parents.
Visiting the orphanage that day was an anxious time for Becky and I. Still jet lagged from the long journey that concluded only the night before, our stomachs were in our throats and our senses were adrift with delirium. The tarnished corridors of the old Russian orphanage were straight out of a Cold War movie and added a thickness to the emotions we were trying to compress. Soon, we were introduced to Rosa, the director of the orphanage, and Larisa, the adoption facilitator. Larisa, a very tactful woman whom I have come to understand is infamous for her curtness, gave Becky and I, along with the three other fellow American parents, a brief rundown about the child selection process. Shortly thereafter, a trickle of children started streaming in for us to see.
Blankets were laid on the floor and one by one, the orphanage care-givers started bringing in these stunning little Kazakh babies. Most were able to prop themselves on their elbows and hands and some were able crawl about and creep up on our pant legs. Before long, the room seemed flooded with babies and I watched Becky go haywire, hugging and adoring every last one of them. This was obviously a dangerous scene for a woman with ‘the fever’. Then came in a few toddlers, something Becky and I weren’t sure we could expect.
Of the toddlers, there were two little boys and a girl. Becky and I thought that we would like to adopt a toddler, but were told that the availability was unpredictable and not something we could count on. Days before leaving for Kazakhstan, we were told that we probably needed to fix our minds on adopting a baby.

As I watched Becky continue to wallow in babies from across the room, I turned my attention to the new arrivals. In particular, I tried to divide my attention between the two boys (the girl toddler, Anya, was already beginning to create a stir among the other parents). The smaller of the boys had ice blue eyes and blond hair - Andrei, as it turned out. Upon entering the room, he was immediately busy gathering toys and scuttling about. He genuinely seemed to be a good kid and instinctively I felt he might be good candidate for Becky and I. However, with so many options cruising around the room, I was hesitant to isolate any of the children just yet.
The other boy, a taller kid with brown hair, was also busy gathering toys, and having ‘bookmarked’ Andrei for later inspection, I decided to go ahead and try to acquaint myself with him. Despite my deliberate effort, I found myself completely unable to attract his attention. At maybe three-years of age, the brown haired boy had the dark bags of trauma hanging below his eyes and I could only guess that he was suffering from some degree of detachment disorder. Becky and I have been told that there is a special league of parents that are willing to take on a child like this, but it is a different type of adoptive game; ‘masters-chess’ if you will. Such an adoption would be beyond what our social-worker back in Salt Lake City advised for us. Meanwhile, I continued to take notice of the teasing that Andrei intermittently directed towards me. At one point, Andrei even offered a toy for my own amusement. While Andrei seemed to offer a positive impression of himself, I was beginning to wonder if Becky had set herself on a different course. As far as I could tell, she was sinking rather deep in a tide of babies.
Feeling like I had a working idea of what was going in Toddlerville, I broke off to see how Becky was fairing. At this moment, she was holding two babies, one in each arm and passed one off to me so she could pick up another. Fun and games, I thought. Again, this was a dangerous scene.
By the time the orphanage medical doctor began to read-off the medical reports for the children of interest, Becky and I decided it was time to get serious. Little did I realize, but while Becky was getting carried away with her baby-wrangling, she had also been eyeing little Andrei. I guess we were deciding to stick to our original intentions after all. Becky and I then gravitated to Andrei in an attempt to affirm what we were already sensing about him. With Becky and I now together and receiving the full dose of Andrei’s charm, we were starting to see the light. Andrei was definitely glowing before us. It took no time flat and we knew for certain that he was the one.
To my mind, agreeing on a child that both Becky and I could embrace as a suitable addition to our family would be the crux of our journey to Kazakhstan. As it turned out, accepting Andrei to be our own was the easy part. For the next two weeks, Becky, Andrei and I would spend a substantial amount of time together trying to forge a bond among strangers that we could carry back to a permanent existence in America. Getting to know the fickle and whims of a two-year-old child that has already learned an array of survival skills in an old Soviet orphanage has proved to have its challenges. In the beginning, everything was new and good and we were all having a really nice time.
Becky’s love affair with Andrei was nearly immediate. She has a gift for the subtle amusements of play. Her games might include: “stuffed animal storytime”, “mom’s restaurant”, and helping to make fun with the perennial classic, “all the little toy people getting stuffed in the little toy house by Andrei-the-Giant”. Andrei quickly grew to adore Becky and it was easy to see that these two would go far. My relationship with Andrei was a bit more uphill. As a masculine figure, I represent something of an alien to a boy who has been living exclusively under the feminine care of the orphanage establishment. Larisa, the adoption facilitator, forewarned me that this would be a hurdle to overcome. Fortunately, Andrei’s basel temperament is inherently good natured, allowing me to make inroads with him at a steady pace. However, after the first week came a confrontation that damaged some of the bond between Andrei and I.

One afternoon, Andrei began to throw some nesting bowls in a tyrannical manner. I told him twice to stop, and in utter defiance, he continued to throw the bowls. Firmly, I extracted the bowls from his grasp, and shelved them out of his reach, no longer rebuking him but gazing coldly into his eyes, as if challenging him to push me further. He held my eyes, and after a 45-second stand off, I could see him physically bow down and emotionally sour. I may have won the match, but it was apparent to me that my hammer might have been too heavy. I felt a weakening of the goodwill that had been slowly generating between us and it took a couple days for Andrei and I to recoup what we had lost. An upshot to this is that I think I have a better sense of where his personal will lies and can hopefully better gauge the disciplinary pressure to apply in the future. Already, I like to believe this small tribulation has opened a space for us to reach a new high watermark in our relationship.

Andrei is an incredibly good little boy. Uncannily, he reminds us a great deal of Edward when he was two. The primary challenge ahead of Andrei is getting his English speech at a par with his Russian. This will not be a great feat for him though, as his Russian is still mostly jibber-jabber peppered with a variety of his more practiced words. Some of Andrei’s favorite words include “peet” (a drink), or “paka” (see you later), and “garyachee!” (hot! - a common response in mom’s restaurant).
As of this writing, Becky and I are winding down with the final signatures and appearances necessary to finalize our adoption of Andrei. Our time with Andrei in Karaganda is also drawing to a close. Andrei and I will reconvene 3-4 weeks later in Almaty, once his U.S. emigration visa has been completed. As a swan-song to Becky and I, the orphanage will host a small party that will be attended by all of the people in Karaganda that have helped us along the way: Rosa, Larisa, and Olga (the director, facilitator and Russian interpreter for the orphanage), and all of the care-givers, many of whom work behind the scenes. From the party, Becky and I are off to the airport and on to Europe where we will meet our dear friends from Germany, Thorsten and Jovanka, for a long awaited visit on their home turf.
After spending some time with our friends, Becky will return to the States and to her work. Andre will remain at the Karaganda orphanage as other prospective parents arrive to adopt more of the awaiting children. I will bide away in Europe, keeping vigil until I am summoned to Almaty for the last strokes of paperwork at the U.S. Embassy in Kazakhstan. As I make my return flight back to Almaty, Andrei and his escort will be on an old Soviet railway, crossing the great steppes of Kazakhstan to meet me. I can’t wait to get this little bugger home.

Charles and Becky